I got the pulsatin' rhythmical remedy (busychild424) wrote,
I got the pulsatin' rhythmical remedy
busychild424

(Disclaimer: Apologies to my family members who have recently discovered this journal and who may think that I'm a great Christian like the rest of the family. It hasn't been that way for a long time. Sorry.)

I'm not ready to call it God, because I can't believe in a God that would allow this, much less one who has this as "part of his plan" (fuck that), but in the midst of this horrible dark time, there has been a clear sign that there is Something out there.

On bad news day number one, when I got to the hospital, my dad said he had spoken with the hospital social worker (Robyn). We knew we were getting bad news so he asked her to be there when they told us the news.

When Robyn walked in, she and Tandra greeted each other with "wow, it's good to see you again" type greetings. It turns out that Robyn was a counselor at a support group for teenagers - a group Tandra, averybadman24, and another of her close friends were all in 12 years ago. Tandra and Robyn remember each other. In fact Robyn told me that of the two or three hundred kids that came through that group, there were few she always remembered and two she always remembered by name, and Tandra is the first. (Tandra is unforgettable like that.) Tandra really likes Robyn too. It's just too much to be a coincidence. Robyn says its another example of "the universe taking care of us".

I figured I probably needed to talk to some kind of psychologist or counselor about this but I wasn't really sure what for, or what to say. Robyn and I sat and talked and not only was she really helpful, but I really like her. Like, a lot. Like, enough to keep in touch with her after all this is through.

Ten years ago when the girl I was dating died in a car accident, her aunt and I were pretty close for a while, but eventually lost touch. I feel like Robyn is that person this time around, and I don't want to let that relationship go again like I did last time.

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Christians and pray-ers: Please continue to pray and please don't be offended at my current position on things. Right now I believe that praying, meditating, sending good vibes, or whatever it is you do, if you truly believe in it, it's all the same thing - that energy really does flow through the universe. Plus, if praying is your thing, then it's as much for you as it is for us, and that's as it should be.

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I'm scared that even though I can't think of it, there might be some way this could possibly get worse.
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