Tuesday night I got about three hours of sleep, so I was running on that all day as we brought Tandra home from the hospital. I'm afraid I was snappy and a real jerk a lot of the day. I feel bad about that.
Yesterday was completely insane. We went to Target on the way home so Tandra could get a set of bedsheets for her hospital bed at home. She chose red sheets with a white sheet with black polka dots in the middle, black pillowcases, and an enormous pea green fluffy body pillow.
Today, in spite of lots of visitors, was much quieter, and I'm much more sane. Which reminds me, just because we're home doesn't mean you can stop visiting. We are just as open to visitors now as we were at the hospital, and our flowers are kind of getting old, so come on by.
Friends are priceless. They are helping me keep track of Tandra's meds, logging her pain levels and moods throughout the day to look for patterns, and using Google Calendar in conjunction with my family to work out care schedules to come over and help us. It's really impressive.
I've also continued to get donations from friends and I can't tell you how helpful that is. While we were in the hospital a bunch of our food went bad, and yesterday I spent $230 on prescription co-pays. I have three more to pick up tomorrow. The electric company people came banging on the door this morning to collect - I've never had that happen before. I suspect they were going to shut us off if I didn't have the money (I did). That would have been bad - Tandra's oxygen concentrator plugs into the wall.
Old friends are coming out of the woodwork and old grudges are being forgiven and resolved. That's a nice thing to see. Too bad it takes something like this to make it happen, but it's better than something sudden happening that leaves things unresolved.
Now that Tandra is able to regulate her own pain medication intake instead of complying with the hospital schedule, her pain is managed on a much more consistent basis, and she's much more clear-headed. At the hospital her pain was spiking and plummeting because of the pain med schedule, and when she took a lot of meds at once she got real loopy. Now she takes them on a more staggered schedule and it's working out much better.
The LiveStrong bracelets I ordered showed up today. More than half of them are already gone. I also got the PostSecret book because I knew she'd like it. I was right.
Tonight I realized that on Wednesday I missed a court date for a speeding ticket. Oops. I gotta call my lawyer first thing in the morning. I don't know if being at the hospital with my wife will be a good enough excuse or not. I suppose it will be up to the judge. Either way I'm sure I'll have to pay my lawyer some more to show up again.
I have a mountain of bills and paperwork to sort through. I need to get up early tomorrow and try to do as much of that during business hours as I can. I will try to start back to work from home at least part time on Tuesday. I also have a whole bunch of stuff we brought home from the hospital that I need to unpack and put away. Since our house was cleaned and reorganized while we were out, a lot of this stuff doesn't have a home any more, so unpacking it and putting it away includes finding/creating a new home for it all. Damned if I'm going to mess up the apartment her friends busted their asses cleaning for us.
I guess this whole thing kind of doesn't seem real to me right now. I have no other explanation for the fact that I haven't gotten real emotional in a few days. Being at home is comforting to us both, but I think some part of me feels like she must be getting better because we've come home from the hospital, you know?
I read something today that said Stage IV cancer patients have a 5% survival rate.