Today's just been a rotten day for me emotionally. Some days are just like that for no reason. Hopefully tomorrow will be better. But today I've just felt lonely and sad. I've been thinking about just how intimately well I knew her, better than anyone else ever did. How I knew the quirks of her personality and every little nuance of her body. Today I've felt her slipping away. A few excruciatingly sad moments have been stuck in my head, and while I don't want to deny those memories, I wish they would go away. I am feeling a very specific kind of loneliness, a kind that no one can fill. I have a lot of friends and family who love me, and this hasn't happened frequently, but today, I'm very specifically lonely for her, and nothing else fills that. I have no one to turn to for that kind of support, and it makes me sad. It sucks. I wish this part of things would just hurry up and go by. It would be nice to skip forward to March or so. I hope for many sunny days this winter.
Anyway. Had to get that out. Tomorrow will be better.