But christ, I was in a cigar bar called Leathers that was filled with dark wood, leather, mirrors, sconces, meatballs, and guys drinking brandy and chewing on cigars. I'm so out of my element in a place like that. I need to move to somewhere where a work party has laser light shows and DJs. I don't like golf, I don't smoke cigars, I guess I'm never going to get anywhere in this town.
It was interesting to watch the groups of people, the circles of people that formed. I would have liked to have just sat down and watched, but I felt too obligated to participate. It was interesting to watch who was networking and who wasn't. Some people came in and worked the room, lingering with those who had higher status, chatting about who knows what and laughing at the appropriate volume. Other people formed little circles of familiarity and almost hid. If you're a part of that group, you go find someone you already know and are somewhat comfortable with, you drink a lot and you chat with them. You don't drink for fun so much though, more so you have something to do with your hands.
My natural inclination is to be one of those, one of the "hiders". Not a "schmoozer". Actually my inclination was to leave after ten minutes, but again, I felt this weird compulsion to at least be seen for a while, to talk to whomever I could.
I've become everything I swore I never would.
I wish there were a job that paid about twice what I'm making now, that would pay for me to go to school, that would have me doing the same thing I'm doing now, living somewhere with geographical features. Then I could buy a zippy cornery car and afford to remodel my house and stuff.