I got the pulsatin' rhythmical remedy (busychild424) wrote,
I got the pulsatin' rhythmical remedy

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I totally and completely stole this idea from focalish.

So, let's say you are a venture capitalist. I am an entrepreneur. I have ideas, you have money. I say you buy me a huge plot of land somewhere that has terrain. Something on the order of 100 square miles. 20 * 5. Then we build a long highway winding across this land. Some of it 2-lane, some of it 4-lane. And somewhere in the middle, we build a fake city. Parking lots, residential streets, buildings, dips, railroad tracks. None of the buildings need to be functional, they just need to be there.

Then we go out and buy cars. Lots of them. Tons of them. Some high-end performance, some utility/delivery/commercial trucks, some vans and sedans, some stripped down reinforced cars with sport suspension like they use in stunt driving training.

And cop cars. Cop SUVs. Cop cruisers. Cop highway patrol units, some of them unmarked, some of them high-end sports cars designed for high speed pursuit. Just like the real thing.

Then we go out and hire a bunch of people. Landscapers, maintenance guys, mechanics, technicians, body shop guys. And, most importantly, cops and ex-cops. People who have high speed pursuit training. Or, if the option is there, we hire our own high speed pursuit trainers and train our own people, cops or not.

Then we go out and pay out the ass for an insanely huge insurance policy.

How much would you pay for the chance? Enough to pay the salaries of all these people, pay for the parts to fix the cars you crash, and still allow us to make a profit and recoup the investment?

We could set it up like a video game. You pay a certain amount for a certain amount of time. Try not to get busted while running from the cops for fifteen minutes. Maybe you can pay less for a more structured mission, like getting from point a to point b. Missions are more expensive the farther you space points a and b from one another, or the longer your time period is. Drive any car we have available, if you can afford it. Cars are available in different classes and you pay more for a better car. Missions are also available in different difficulty ratings. Choose urban, rural, or both. Choose night, day, or dusk. Choose tarmac, dirt, or a combination.

Haul ass down long straight stretches of road. Kick ass through twisty sections. Get lost in the urban areas. But whatever you do, don't let the cops catch you, because if they do, it's revO emaG<<----.

We send out a contingency of "cops". Send out some regular people simulating regular traffic. Then send out the lucky (and now thousands of dollars less rich) adventurer with a scenario: "You've just robbed a bank." or "You've attempted and failed to kidnap a judge and the cops are after you." The cops get radios and everything. Make it as realistic as possible. As the adventurer, you have to sign a waiver that says if you get PIT maneuvered and die, you won't sue us.

We could put brochures at all the race and stunt driving schools. It's a logical next step, right?

The only problem with this is that people would have to travel to get to it. But think about it. What a fucking awesome vacation. Can you imagine the advertisements? All you'd need would be some camera shots of the action. Speaking of which, for an additional fee, you could pay to have a helicopter film the whole deal for you to take home.

Shit, we could pitch it to FOX. They'd air it. It would be like "World's Wildest Police Videos" without John Bunnell and his fucking annoying patronizing morality schtick. Maybe John Madden could do the play by play. Slap some advertisements on top of the cars and you've got a weekly show that's paying for itself in no time. (I mean, if American Gladiators can last more than one season, so can this.) Interview each driver beforehand and show clips of that before the action. Based on what the customer says in the interview, TV viewers can place bets on our website as to how long or far the customer will survive. Drive up traffic to the website and make more money. Get bought outright by FOX and have enough money to star in your own creation.

Seems like a freaking brilliant idea to me.

[EDIT]: Screw paying for the experience, I want to work there.
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