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June 26th, 2001

public pissers

Is there anything worse than a public restroom?

Why is it that I can't take a relaxed, private shit without some 40-year old in loafers standing in the stall next to me alternately holding his breath and exhaling loudly trying to squeeze out a couple drops of piss? And then, when he has stage fright because I'm in the stall next to him being polite enough not to do any business until he leaves, why does he always flush the urinal when he leaves? He isn't able to produce, and actually touching the damn thing to flush it probably gives him more germs than he removes by doing said act.

And what's with the guy who, while I'm trying to take a piss of my own, just shits as loud as he can? Again with the breathing and grunting, and then "plop, splash." What am I supposed to think about? How can I not just KNOW that this guy's hairy ass just got spashed with dookie water? This does not make for a comfortable pissing environment. Good god.

Thank you.

Production Team Meeting notes

Abbreviations:
QC (Quality Control) and QA (Quality Assurance) are NOT the same thing.
PCP (it's just funny that we use that abbreviation all the time)

My take on the meeting, including quotes which were fun taken out of context:

Andrea is the only person I know in the world who still uses number two pencils. She also uses the little erasers you stick on the end when the factory one wears out.
"Resource Assessment"
"You shouldn't touch anything"
"QC process; QC routing - it's whatever."
"Controlling the kickbacks"
"John is the ultimate authority on that"
"Chargeable and non-chargeable items"

Shelly just talks to make herself feel important; she never says anything of substance. She sits with her styrofoam coffee cup all smeared with plum lipstick.
"I don't know what we're doing"
"Why? I don't know"
"This is crazy, we're not doing this right"
When she said "grabbed the wrong stack", at first I thought she said "grabbed the wrong sack"
And she pronounces the word bin "be-in".

Christian, with his diminuitive, non-authoritative voice, trying to get a word in.
"I guess it's a mess"

Jennifer kept putting her foot on the "up/down" lever on my chair, threatening to suddenly and without warning plunge me to eye level with the table. I had to make dangerous looking gestures with my pen several times. Once I tried to write on her leg but she deftly swiveled out of reach.
"same color"
These are the only words she uttered throughout the entire meeting. She sat with pen poised over paper and wrote not a single word the entire time.