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January 23rd, 2004

I like this one. I got this from democritus. Only, I'll take it a step further. Not only will I tell you who would be in my posse if I were famous, but I'll tell you from which movie and why.
  • Robert DeNiro in The Score - gotta have a safecracker. Plus, he and I would mastermind all of our stealthy criminal operations.

  • Ice Cube as he makes himself out to be in all his CDs (I would have said Boyz N The Hood but he was kinda small-time in that movie. Not to mention that he wound up dead at the end.) - Head skull thumper. Plus, you know that guy never travels without his crew, so it'd be like I had my own little gang. A subset of my posse. A sub-posse, I suppose. Intimidation is good.

  • Mos Def in either Brown Sugar or The Italian Job, I can't decide - just for my own personal entertainment.

  • Jason Statham as Handsome Rob in The Italian Job - because he's a much better guy to have as a driver than Nic Cage in Gone in 60 Seconds (Great movie, but Nic is a bit of a weener and not quite believable as a thug).

  • Harvey Keitel as Winston Wolf in Pulp Fiction - "I solve problems." (Gotta have someone who can clean up the inevitable mess.)

  • Samuel L Jackson in just about anything - Sam is a badass. You can't have a proper posse without Sam. "When you absolutely, positively gotta kill every single MF in the room... accept no substitute."

  • Seth Green in the Italian Job - Probably the most entertaining hacker I've seen lately.

  • Morgan Freeman - Morgan really doesn't fit in here since my crew appears to be shaping up to be a bunch of renegades, but seriously, how cool would it be to get to hang out with Morgan Freeman?

  • Trinity from the Matrix - one word: WEAPONS. I would have said Keanu Reeves, but 1) When you have a guy who can alter reality, there's really no point in assembling the rest of the crew, and 2) Every time I see him, I still think of Ted Theodore Logan.

  • Don Cheadle as Basher in Ocean's Eleven - demolitions
  • and finally, Lori Petty in Tank Girl - Lori Petty is kickass and anything Tank Girl reminds me of Tandra. If this didn't have to be famous people, I'd just substitute Tandra in here, but then she'd be at the top of the list. Tandra would hang out with Cube and they would run around kicking the asses of people who messed with my operation. Wait, when did I become a mob boss? I think maybe I'm taking this movie thing a little too seriously.
Can I recruit Ashton Kutcher just so he can be a fall guy for something and then we can kill him and hide the body?

Jan. 23rd, 2004

Ha, so I've decided to modify democritus's list once again - this time it's strictly LJ people who would be in my posse if I had one.
  • zerogenius - Of course, gotta have my driver. That's assuming it's not me, in which case Zero still gets to be co-driver and whatever else I designate him to be.

  • coraleycoral - Okay, so there would be a lot of rock-paper-scissors over who got to be the driver.

  • svtrayne - A lot of rock-paper-scissors.

  • trbobrick - He's like a little MacGyver. And, did I mention rock-paper-scissors over being the driver? Ah, screw it - we could all just pimp our own rides around in a caravan, like in The Italian Job or Fast and the Furious. Precision driving in tight formation is always impressive.

  • scarletfirefly - I touched on this in my last post. She'd be good at the role of the totally hot girl in the high-heeled boots who will kick your ass and who will play games with your head and who always seems to come out on top of the situation. (Wait, that's her in real life.) See, there's a reason why Lori Petty in Tank Girl reminds me of Tandra. (Besides the fact that Tandra has Tank Girl (the comic book version) tattooed on her forearm.) Tandra would be the crazy one, the one who would make the boys feel stupid because she'd do the things that everyone else was scared to do. She'd be the brazen, bold, flamboyant one. The one to infiltrate and get information and sexy-talk her way into places and find out stuff. She'd also be the one who, at the end of the movie, would step up and solve the problem that seemed like it was going to doom the entire mission. Yeah, she rocks.

  • archschnitz - Cold-blooded hit man. No contest. Remember in Pulp Fiction when Marsellus Wallace said "Ima call a coupla hard, pipe-hittin niggas to go to work on the holmes here with a pair of pliers and a blow torch."? Yeah, he was talking about calling archschnitz.

  • karbonkid - I haven't figured out what your job is yet, but you gotta be part of the crew.

  • nolimitsoldier - Military weapons and tactics. I have a feeling that if you seriously want to blow something up real big, this guy knows how to do it.

  • poetryslam - I always think of the direct, violent ways to accomplish goals. Eirik's methods (ala kitty hell) are generally less illegal, equally or more entertaining, and equally or more effective. Because you can't blow sh*t up and kill people every time. Plus, the more bald guys you have, the more intimidating you look.

  • pastorofmuppets - Much like poetryslam, the Pastor would come up with all kinds of perspectives on things that I wouldn't think of on my own - let's call it a creative approach to problem solving (albeit probably a bit more direct than Eirik). Plus he adds to the baldness quotient. Don't worry Todd, you can ride with me. *snicker*

  • piper11521 - Big, bald, scary satanic looking dude. Doesn't matter that he's really mostly harmless - it's all about the look, you know? Plus, Jeremi has always wanted to run with my crew. You know you have, don't deny yourself.
I wish I would have thought to include Jean Reno from The Professional in my celebrity posse. That mofo is not to be fscked with.
I say again - why do I always forget to ask for ketchup?
zeppo rocks, and this is an example of why.
Wow. This guy decided to eat nothing but McDonald's for 30 days and chart the impact it had on his health. Within 30 days, his liver was toxic. Dude put on TWENTY FIVE POUNDS. In a MONTH. Interesting read.

From metafilter.
If you're in the mood for a hilarious video to brighten your day, or possibly make you piss yourself laughing, go here. You won't be disappointed.
la la la, love my car
:-)

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