More good progress.
Months ago, Tandra worked at a health food store. She made me a remedy out of floral and herbal essences. It's a concentrated concoction (I affectionately call it my magic potion) that lives in a small glass jar that has an eyedropper. You can drop a couple drops into your bath or, like I do, drop a few drops under your tongue once a day and hold them there for 20 seconds or so. You add different essences to achieve different desired results (health, stress release, adjustment to change, stubbornness, etc).
I started taking it seriously a few weeks ago. I would come home from work, drop it under my tongue and sit there for a few seconds, and then go on about my day.
A week or so ago I decided to help it out a little bit. Instead of just fitting it into my day, I took a pause from my day. I sat in the dark for ten minutes and focused on releasing my stress from the day, visualized positive outcomes of stressful situations in my life, achieving the kinds of mental changes I'm trying to achieve, and achieving the kinds of changes that my particular magic potion is designed to elicit. Then at the end of the ten minutes I took the drops, focused on them doing their job as my body absorbed them, relaxed for another minute, and then went on about my day. This, I felt, was a very good idea.
Tonight I took it a step further. As you can probably tell from my previous post, I had a rather stressful afternoon. Hanging out with Miah and playing video games was a decent distraction, but very superficial. It paid no attention to the source of my stress, made no attempt to handle my problems. It's like cold medicine - it only treats the symptoms, not the problem.
So tonight I got home and as I said, decided to take it a step further. I turned off the lights, lit some incense, turned on some meditative music, sat cross-legged on the bed and closed my eyes. I started by just breathing and focusing on my breathing. In through the nose, out through the mouth. Then I began to imagine a white energy coming into my body through the tips of my toes. With every breath in, more of the white healing energy came into my toes and with every exhalation, stress and tension was pushed out the top of my head. I didn't rush it, I sort of let my mind and my body tell me how quickly I was progressing. It took a while, but eventually I got up to my ankles, my calves, my knees, my torso, my fingers, hands, elbows, shoulders, and finally I took some deep breaths and pushed that tension right out the top of my head, imagining the healing energy filling up my entire body.
By this point I had established a slow, rhythmic breathing pattern. I mentally collected a list of affirmations and without changing the rhythm of my breathing, every time I exhaled I spoke them aloud. I repeated them as many times as I felt necessary, more times for the ones I felt were more important. Things like "I am strong enough", "I will practice mental strength", "I will look at things from other people's point of view", "I will not be self-centered, I will be selfless", etc. Each one I repeated at least five times, some of them ten or fifteen. I will take my list of choices and make them into affirmations for this.
When I felt I was finished, I then started thinking about the effect that my magic potion is supposed to have. I took the drops and continued to focus on the changes I want to make in myself.
I won't say that I achieved some altered state, some higher plane of consciousness, but I did get a couple bits of spiritual clarity (hi aisling
!), and I can definitely say that I haven't felt this close to my own spirituality in a very long time, years. Maybe six years. This is definitely something I feel can elicit great change in a relatively short amount of time, and something I want to do every day.
I don't know where I got it. I didn't read it anywhere, or else I did and it's just a conglomeration of meditative techniques I've picked up from many different somewheres. I don't know if what I was doing can technically be called "meditation" or what it was. But I am of the opinion that regardless of your religion, whether you pray or meditate or practice magick, it's all kind of the same thing, and so that's what I was doing. I was talking to myself, my subconscious, and talking to the spirits in the air, asking for whatever help exists outside of myself. If all that means is finding untapped strength from within myself, that's okay too.
Comments and feedback encouraged.