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November 10th, 2004

OMG it was not just your average ordinary everyday vending machine cinnamon roll
it was a CHERRY SWEET ROLL
BECKONING ME
calling me
MOCKING ME
having its way with me
and I didn't have any change on me
and there was ONLY ONE
behind it were ZINGERS
NO ONE WANTS ZINGERS
I had to hurry upstairs to my cube to get change and rush back down to the vending machine
and it was STILL THERE
I GOT IT
I am not eating yet yet.
I will just hold it for a while.
Ok, next up is some stuff I forgot to mention from last week.

#1: Tandra works for a church.




Okay, now that you're done laughing uproariously, it's true. She is the "Executive Secretary" (woohoo!) for the regional conference of the United Church of Christ. I guess they are headquartered here or something. Anyway, I went to have lunch with her last week. It was very interesting and refreshing to sit amongst a bunch of church people and discuss what a disaster Bush's reelection was. Very nice.

#2: Last week the day after the election, one of the guys in the IT department, Frank, found his way into the weight room where I was waiting for Kerry's concession speech. He asked if Bush had finally won, and I said yes. He proceeded to talk about how happy he was because of this. When I asked why, he regurgitated forth, "Kerry can't make up his mind. We don't need a president who can't make up his mind." Yes, I was thoroughly disgusted at his lack of original thought and at the fact that he just accepted whatever he was told. My theory is that he's a hard-line Republican - he's the hunting, fishing redneck type. Drives a nasty old beat-up pickup truck, the white and tan one that's all rusty with the round headlights, you know the one I'm talking about. I was still really pissed about the outcome and I said "I'm not having this conversation with you or anybody right now."

That's not the point though. Well, that's a little part of the point. He's the hunting and fishing backwoods type. I'm stereotyping Bush voters here. But it gets better. The next day during our IT department's weekly meeting, I'm minding my own business being bored, and I notice this guy get his keys out.

And he proceeds to stick one IN HIS EAR.

And DIG OUT EAR GOO.

And LOOK AT IT.

And scrape it off the key with his fingers and flick it on the floor.

DURING OUR F*CKING DEPARTMENT MEETING.

You're welcome, Blue States, and ROW (Rest Of World), this is Midwestern America's gift to you. The right for these folks to exist, to consume and accept whatever comes on the teevee, and then to cast votes. You're welcome, California. As a Kansan, I offer you FRANK to completely nullify your 55 electoral votes. You're welcome, U.S. Military, you can thank FRANK for having your duty abused and for being somewhere you really ought not be. Merry Christmas, New York, FRANK has decided that the arrogant swaggering bastard represents you better. Good luck with that.

Frank. These are the people who re-elected the chimp. It completely backs up Conan O'Brien's observation last night: 51% of Americans watched the Country Music Awards last night, and the rest voted for Kerry.



OMFG WE FIND OUT IF IT'S A BOY OR GIRL TODAY!!
First, we thought we were 19 weeks and a couple days, but we're 18 weeks and a couple days. New due date: April 10th.

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I will be posting this to www.sorryeverybody.com as soon as they are accepting submissions again.

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