You know what? I'll start with the good, because there is some. In the interest of fairness.Good:
Everyone is alive and generally healthy.Good:
Even when I'm in the foulest of moods, looking at Kaien still makes me smile.Good: mossymonkey
, dude finally shipped out my differential and stuff, and UPS has it scheduled to show up at my place on Friday, which of course is in time for installation this weekend. I'd love to hop right on it on Saturday if you're available. Holla.
Alright. Now that that bit of pleasantness is out of the way, I can get to the real substance of this post, the shit circus you really came to see.
First let me describe the relevant things about my house to you. You already know that my central air conditioner isn't working. Last night at 11:00 PM it was 91 degrees in the living room. At 4:00 AM it was 83 degrees (ask me how I know). The master bedroom is a conversion - a previous owner turned the attic into the MBR. As such, and since the house was built in 1920, there is no central air ducting to the MBR and there is no insulation between the living room and the MBR right above it. Heat kind of rises right up into the bedroom. In the winter, this is good. In the summer, not so much. But the bedroom is easily kept comfortable with a window unit in the summer and one of those nice oil-convection radiator type space heaters in the winter time. The window unit in the bedroom has had a hard time keeping things cool since the central air unit went out, but it hasn't been 91 or even 83 in there, so it's been a saving grace to have somewhere to retreat to.
Now let me describe to you what happened last night by asking a question. Have you ever been lying in bed, peacefully sleeping, when suddenly you are violently jolted awake by an unearthly shriek? The kind of shriek that shoots you bolt the fuck upright in bed, wide-eyed, instantly wide fucking awake, looking at the other person (who is also sitting bolt the fuck upright) wondering what the hell that unnatural howl was and realizing you didn't dream it because clearly the other person heard it too? The kind of shriek that makes you check on the baby even though there is no freaking way that that terrifying, maniacal yowl could possibly have come from that peaceful little sleeping angel?
And have you ever been sitting back in bed with that other person, having turned on the bedside lamp, discussing what that sound might have been, when suddenly THAT SHIT HAPPENS AGAIN and you nearly squeeze the other person's arm off in an instant of mortal terror?
Somehow I'm not surprised about that. I'm beginning to think that some fucking mythical god of mischief has me on his short list of people to fuck with, and if I knew where the fuck that punk bitch Murphy was hiding I would find his ass and strangle the life out of him with my skinny white fingers.
Foul mood? No, I have no idea what the fuck you're talking about.
See, we finally figured out what the interdimensional banshee ghost wail was. It was the fan on the window air conditioner unit. This A/C unit has kind of been running nonstop for a while (because it's, oh, you know, JUST FUCKING UNNECESSARILY HOT
outside) so I suppose it's reasonable to expect it to get weary... but I didn't. Never occurred to me. It got bad real fast and was just randomly emitting these MIND-BENDING, INSANITY-INDUCING SCREECHES every few minutes and making it utterly impossible to sleep, so we had to turn it off. It got uncomfortably hot within fifteen minutes, even with a box fan.SO NOW WE HAVE TWO BROKEN AIR CONDITIONERS.
That leaves just one that sort of works, the window unit at the top of the stairway to the bedroom. The little one. The one that freezes up and stops blowing cold air rather frequently. The one that sort of cools the stairway and hallway outside the bedroom and acts as a temperature buffer between the 90 degree first floor and the relatively comfortable bedroom.
I was so frustrated and angry that I stormed out of the bedroom and sat at the top of the stairs and bawled like a little bitch; this is what I've been reduced to. Then I went outside and laid on my back on the sidewalk and just looked up at the sky. At 3:30 AM. I tried to just give up, just quit, but there is nothing to
give up. What am I going to do, quit my family? Quit my job (which would be kind of like quitting my family, since I need the job to take care of them)? Doing either of those things would make me and the people I love more
miserable, not less. Motivation, thy name is counterproductivity. I did see a really big, bright, long shooting star. You better believe I wished on that shit. Then I made a cryptic, profanity-ridden LJ post. Then I played video games for a while because I was way
too pissed off and frustrated to sleep.
So this morning I played musical air conditioners. It was "fun". I managed to get the big, busted-ass, horror-movies-aren't-that-scary one in the bedroom out of the window but it's INSANELY HEAVY (Have you A/C making people from the 80's never heard of carbon fiber or aluminum? Study race cars, people.) and I'm too much of a pussy to actually be able to do anything else with it except to drop it directly on my big toe, which I don't think
is broken. I resisted the urge to just chuck it right out the two-story window into the back yard, which is what I really wanted to do. The air conditioner, not my toe. I took the little one (again, air conditioner) from the stairway and put it in the bedroom, but I have serious doubts about its ability to adequately cool the bedroom, especially since there's no longer a temperature buffer outside the bedroom door, and especially since it's supposed to be ONE HUNDRED AND THREE GODDAMN DEGREES today. Condensation trays were dumping stank-ass water all over the carpet, curtains came down, plants tipped over. I'm serious. It would have been comical if I'd had more than about three hours of sleep; if this oppressive, unending heat didn't make me really irritable; if this weren't YET ANOTHER FUCKING THING on the long list of shit that JUST KEEPS GOING WRONG.
It's as if the house realizes we're leaving and just can't wait to kick us the fuck out. Or maybe it's just another indicator that we need to get the hell out and get to Kansas City as soon as we can. I don't know. Whatever it is, I'm really just about done with it. I get the point, okay? Life is hard. Thanks for the lesson, now please fuck off.
So, yeah. Life is smiling on me. A big, sharp-toothed, drooling, I'm-about-to-eat-you smile.
It's been a very long time since I've listened to angry music really loudly just to vent the frustration and helplessness I feel against life.