while getting your
SPILL YOUR DRINK
It was hard to pick out one section to quote, because the whole thing is this good:
Also, it's important to be drunk because being drunk keeps your body all loose, and that way, if you have an accident or anything, you'll sort of roll with the punches and not get banged up so bad. For example, there was this guy I heard about who was really drunk and was driving through the Adirondacks. He got sideswiped by a bus and went head-on into another car, which knocked him off a bridge, and he plummeted 150 feet into a ravine. I mean, it killed him and everything, but if he hadn't been so drunk and loose, his body probably would have been banged up a lot worse --- and you can imagine how much more upset his wife would have been when she went down to the morgue to identify him if he'd been twisted up and smashed to pieces and covered in bloody gore.