I left work at 4:00 to go back to city hall to discuss my Expired Tags ticket with the city prosecutor. The clerk there had told me I had good odds of getting it dismissed.
However, when I discussed it with her, she said that since my expiration date was more than 30 days old, they couldn't dismiss it. And this is a moving violation which will go on my record.
So, before I was even out of the building, I was on the phone to the office of my traffic attorney, Duane. I reached his assistant, Bessie. I explained to her the situation and she said she suspected he could help me, but she'd have to talk to him. Then she asked me to hold, and when she returned, she explained that Duane had just walked in. Here is the conversation that followed:
Bessie: Duane says he thinks there's a pretty good chance he can get that dismissed.
Me: Even though it's outside that thirty day period?
Bessie: Well, we can't guarantee one hundred percent, but he's had pretty good luck with them.
Me: How much does he want to charge me for that?
Bessie: Let me ask him. [some murmuring in the background] Duane says two hundred dollars..
Me: Wow, that's more expensive than getting a speeding ticket amended.
Me: Hey, let's barter. Let's negotiate.
Bessie (to Duane, chuckling): He wants to barter.
Me: Tell him for a hundred bucks I'll do it.
Bessie (to Duane): He says for one hundred bucks he'll do it.
Duane, in the background, laughing: How about one-fifty?
Bessie: He says one-fifty.
Me: Tell him one twenty-five and I'll come down and write him a check right now.
Bessie: He says for one twenty-five he'll write you a check right now.
Duane, in the background: Tell him he's got thirty-seven minutes!
I had already turned the car around and pointed it that way, made it there in FIVE minutes, and cut him a check.
I'd say negotiating 37.5% off the quoted rate from an attorney is pretty damn good! Hilarious.