So, there's an entry on my guestbook on my website (joshdutcher.com) that looks like this:
um you know you are not the only josh dutcher in this world my boy friends name is josh dutcher he is soooooooo hot do you know him anny wase you are not that spechal that you need your own web site.
Hehe... well, this chick was dumb enough to leave her e-mail address, so here's my response:
Hello, nameless person:
1. Of course I'm not the only Josh Dutcher in the world. I just happen to be the one who registered joshdutcher.com first. Besides - I'm a web developer. I really ought to have my own website in order to have any credibility as a web designer, shouldn't I? I'm sorry you're so upset by the fact that I got here first... or whatever it is you're upset about.
2. Do I know him? Of course I know him. I make a point of tracking down and knowing every single person in the world who has the same name as I do.
No, I don't know him. Why would I care to?
3. I happen to think I'm quite special, and that I do need my own website. Don't be angry about it. My domain name (joshdutcher.com) is completely unoriginal and not creative at all. If you want your boyfriend to have a website, I think that's great, and it's a good opportunity for him to come up with something much more creative and interesting than I did. You seem to be awfully defensive on his behalf. You know, he doesn't have the universal copyright to the name Josh Dutcher any more than I do. Maybe our parents can duke it out since it was actually their ideas.
4. Are you educated beyond elementary school? The word "boyfriend" should be all one word. In the context in which you used it, it should also have an apostrophe: "boyfriend's". "anny wase" would properly be typed as "anyway". The correct spelling is "special", not "spechal". Furthermore, that e-mail message should have been at least four sentences, not one big run-on. I'm guessing you didn't do too well in English I.
5. How dare you leave a shitty comment like that in regard to that beautiful picture of Xandria sleeping on the couch Christmas morning. Fuck you.
Kindest regards, Josh Dutcher (the smart one) www.joshdutcher.com