I got the pulsatin' rhythmical remedy (busychild424) wrote,
I got the pulsatin' rhythmical remedy
busychild424

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As my mind flicked the switch from unconscious to conscious, before my eyes even opened, I began to go through the checklist. Is Tandra here? No. Are the kids here? What day is it? Friday. So yes, they are here. Instantly my focus shifted to listening and my mind sharpened. I listened for any small hint of activity; a voice, shuffling footsteps, a TV. I hoped anxiously to hear nothing, and was relieved to get my wish. Somehow I found the strength to open my eyes just enough to satisfy my curiosity - how much longer did I have? It was 6:30. I had a good two hours. I relaxed control over my thoughts and allowed my mind to swim again, back into the murkier waters of sleep. I let the daydreams wander where they would, knowing that they would inevitably reach night dreams...

I felt the soft pillow on my face...

I felt the warm comforter over my body...

I heard the ceiling creak and water run through the pipes...

I tossed and turned and stretched and grumbled, but dammit, I was awake.

I looked at the clock again - 6:50. Good thing I was awake, because the kids woke up ten minutes later. I would have been even more irritated about that had I been dead asleep. I flicked on the TV and Showtime had Sean Connery-fest happening. So I watched Finding Forrester and Medicine Man.

Tonight it was a Tom Hanks-a-thon. Forrest Gump, and then the Green Mile.

(Yes, four movies in one day. Shut up, it's been a 20-hour day.)

This brought a question to my mind. I think I'm a hypocrite...AGAIN. I've always bitched about sad movies. I hate them. I hate movies that make you sad. They're stupid! When I go to the movies, I'm going to be entertained, not to be upset. I want to forget everything for a while. Granted, sad movies do that, but I'm trying to escape a little bit. Example (and I'm spoiling this, so be warned): Sweet November. What a fantastic movie! What a fascinating concept, right up until the part where you find out she's dying. What is the point of that? Why? Why build up hope? Why show you a beautiful relationship if it's only desined for tragedy? Why make you leave the movie in tears? I understand that movies and literature and all other forms of art are designed to evoke a response of one sort or another. These movies are having their desired effect on me. My problem is, it's not my desired effect. I don't want to feel that way any more than necessary. What drives people to want to feel this way? Another example: Pay It Forward. I loved that movie, right up until the end. Why? Why do that? That pissed me off. Those kinds of movies just annoy me.

But tonight I realized, I might have a double standard. Forrest Gump, while not a tragedy, is definitely a tearjerker, but it's one of my favorite movies. I'm sure I feel that way because I've only watched it a few times, and I'm not going to ruin it for myself by overdoing it. The point remains though - it's a tearjerker, but I really like that movie. That movie is somewhat justifiable though - it ends on a very happy and hopeful note. So maybe that's okay. But what about The Green Mile? That movie is almost entirely focused on sickness, sadness, death, and the horrible things and people that exist in the world. Watching that movie, one is forced to acknowledge and consider those things. And again, definitely a tearjerker. This one, on the other hand, does not end on quite as hopeful a note. There is some good poetic justice, but I don't think it's enough to compensate for all the injustice portrayed. But it's another movie that I really enjoyed. Is it because through all the negativity there's still a message of hope? Could that not be said about Pay It Forward?

Is there a difference, or am I a hypocrite?
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