I got the pulsatin' rhythmical remedy (busychild424) wrote,
I got the pulsatin' rhythmical remedy

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And now comes the point where I begin to second-guess myself. My indecisiveness kicks in and begins to make me doubt everything, doubt myself, whether I should or not. Am I moving too fast? Can I be sure I'll stay with her, and if not, should I take the chance of hurting her? Am I leading her on? I have no intentions of leaving, but is it possible that could change?

Last night she told me she's in love with me. I'm not terribly surprised, since I've been dropping every ounce of game on this girl that I've got (and that's a lot). But it's only been three weeks. Can she really be in love with me so soon? Doesn't true love take time to develop and grow and evolve? To become? There's some small thing in my head that questions her emotional maturity to be believing and saying this already. Don't get me wrong, I'm elated, I really am. I'm "esstatic". There's just this creeping doubt in the back of my mind, and I can't decide if it's legitimate or if it's just me second-guessing everything like a have a nasty tendency to do.

Something about her makes me believe her. She's very spiritually and emotionally in touch with herself. I think she has the capacity to be in love with me already. I'm certainly on the way towards reciprocating. That's another thing she said though - "it's never a good feeling to be in love with someone who doesn't love you back." It wasn't as nasty as it sounds, I'm quoting her out of context. She knows that I won't say it until I'm convinced it's true, and she knows I'm on the way to that.

She said later she wished she'd sat on it a little longer. She was terrified to tell me because she thought it would scare me away. I asked her if she really thought I was going to run screaming from the house, and she said no. She said she expected a call from me in a couple days saying "I can't do this." I plan to pleasantly surprise her.

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    Sun through the trees, originally uploaded by busychild424 (Josh). Description:

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    1331163225055, originally uploaded by busychild424 (Josh). Description: Found this strange scene while wandering campus earlier.

  • Relic

    Relic, originally uploaded by busychild424 (Josh). Description: This relic is actually sitting unused in one of my classrooms.

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