However, I can confirm (don't you hate it when people say that? think outside the box, people, please) that Blazin' Buffalo & Ranch Doritos are full of yum and burnination.
Today marks the triumphant return of the Mario Hoodie. Because I couldn't wait for the exchange process to happen, I simply ordered a new one of the correct size and returned the first one for a refund. Should be showing up any time now. 1up to you all.
Oh, and how is it that I'm 30 years old and have only just now been made aware of the potential of Mentos and Diet Coke? I should have known that by like sixth grade for sure.