I feel like butt today. I can't believe that the bills I can't pay total twice as much as the ones I can pay. I don't have the first clue how I'm going to hang with school once I move beyond a community college when I can barely keep up now and it's only two weeks into the semester. When I'm feeling like I feel today, I think about my uncle's beautiful house. I think about his smiling face and how he ALWAYS seems to be at ease and comfortable. I think about his big-ass kitchen which I envy so much. I think about how for his fiftieth birthday he decided to go on a camping trip...to CLIMB Mount Kilimanjaro. How he got "stuck" in Amsterdam on the way back because of 9/11. I think about that stuff and about how by the time I'm thirty I could maybe have an MBA and it makes me want to hang. It makes me stay here in this shithole of a trench trying to survive. It doesn't seem like I'm making any progress but I guess that each day that goes by is a small victory. Every time I lay my head down at night and every time I pick it back up again in the morning, it's progress. This will pay off. I will be vindicated and this broke-ass time in my life will be justified and made up for. Karma will reward my diligence.
That's the hope.
