I got the pulsatin' rhythmical remedy (busychild424) wrote,
I got the pulsatin' rhythmical remedy
busychild424

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old stuff

Sometimes the futility of it all makes itself very clear to me. I see my own helplessness, my inability to change my circumstances in any way, and I want to give up. It's difficult to maintain hope while you're looking futility dead in the eye. When futility goes out of its way to mock me, to show me how pointless any effort on my part is, I become willing to risk almost anything to escape. To know that something I did has affected my situation, even slightly, would boost my morale intensely.

Sometimes I am pacified by a vague indifference. The details fail to impress me and I float, letting the current take me wherever it will. I just sit back and observe everything around me, waiting for something to really grab my attention.

Occasionally I am enveloped by a peaceful tranquility. I find solace in a calm stillness, a silent appreciation of beauty like the unbroken surface of a motionless lake. It is during these times that I most fully appreciate the beauty we are surrounded by, if only we take a moment to observe it. The moment of absolute stillness just before the sun peeks over the horizon, or the last few haunting strains of an achingly beautiful musical piece. The appreciation of these moments is increased by their rarity, and can sometimes be assisted by solitude.
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